Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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