Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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