Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
