My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
