I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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