i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize