I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize