So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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