I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
