I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
