just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm like, not good at living.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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