..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
