I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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