in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
