I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
