The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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