I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
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Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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