i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
