I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
