this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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