forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Shame - the story of my life.
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