I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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