i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
