Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
