i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
