She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
