All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
