Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
