the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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