did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
