if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
