if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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