I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
