It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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