I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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