im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.