He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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