even my farts smell like vagina
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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