We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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