I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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