Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
