office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
