my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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