a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize