I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
