Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Randomize
