But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
