she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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