I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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