Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
