Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
