Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
