I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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