So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
