i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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