ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
