I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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