U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
