i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
