i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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