Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My Sexting was not on an AP level
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
