I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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