ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
