I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
