but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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