the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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