I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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